It was just one of those days when Bella couldn’t keep her thoughts at bay. Her mind just kept running through the moment she’d woken up to those awful pains, over and over again. At times she even swore that she could feel the pains all over again, but she knew it was all in her mind. The mind was a powerful thing. She’d learned that over the years while she struggled with her own psychological issues. She’d also learned the symptoms of PTSD. How often had she relived the moment when she’d been violated and abused so many years ago? Was it possible to have PTSD from a loss such as the one she’d experienced?
Luckily, Bella and Nathan now had something to distract them from what they didn’t really want to discuss. Rather than try again, they’d taken another route and focused on trying to breed Asha and Jafar. It had proven to be a little harder than they’d anticipated. Asha was quite feisty and Jafar had a mind of his own - he still had that wildness that Asha no longer possessed. Sighing, Bella closed her eyes and lay her head back against the tub. She knew the cheetahs would be fine. They were getting along more and more everyday. Jafar had even tried to make a move but Asha hadn’t quite appreciated it. Not yet. Bella on the other hand, she wasn’t sure if she was healing or not. Some days, she felt like her old self, but days like today, she felt utterly drained. She wondered if she had done something wrong. Was it her past smoking habits? Her failure to get her condition treated sooner? Would there every be any hope? Was there any point in trying again when it could end the same way as it had this time? “Bells?” she heard Nathan call out to her from outside of the bathroom door. “Are you alright in there?” Bella opened her eyes and glanced at the clock. She’d been in the tub over an hour. “Yeah,” she replied. “Just thinking…” For a moment, she paused, wondering if she should voice her thoughts. “What if I stop taking my bipolar meds?”
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Isabella Kaylee DwyerWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2017
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