After multiple tests and preparations, Bella’s procedure was scheduled for just after christmas and Nathan’s birthday. She’d had an option to have the surgery earlier, but she didn’t want to ruin Christmas for the kids, or Nathan’s birthday. It was freezing cold and snowy out, but that didn’t stop the kids from wanting to go outside. In fact, it was the first time that they’d seen snow and they couldn’t be any more thrilled. Bella stood on the back patio of Amanda and Niels’ house and watched the kids playing in the backyard. As she felt Nathan’s soft arms wrap around her from behind, she melted into his embrace. She wanted to remember everything this happy… just in case the surgery didn’t turn out as they all hoped. “I love you, you know that?” she asked Nathan. “Don’t ever think any differently.” Never did she think differently about his feelings towards her. It was clear in his every action, his every decision. Nathan was the best husband and father in the entire universe. Bella was sure of it. What did I do to deserve him? She wondered as she glanced over her shoulder at his handsome face. “Oh… I bought some kid-friendly eggnog, hot cocoa, and we have a tree to decorate,” said Nathan. “Lots of other stuff too, so we have a lot of work to do once we get these rugrats to bed.” Bella turned, grinning at him. Given the circumstances, there hadn’t been time to plan a ‘proper’ Christmas, but of course Nathan had found the time. “We have to make the best of this American Christmas, huh? Stockings over the fireplace and all. The whole works!” Bella chuckled at his enthusiasm. “I like that,” she said. “Let’s do it. Let’s give the kids a Christmas they’ll never forget.”
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Perhaps it wasn’t the greatest timing to celebrate their anniversary, but Bella and Nathan couldn’t let the day go doing something special. They’d settled into Amanda and Niels’ vacant Brooklyn home (the van Loons were travelling), and they’d had time to visit the Barthels. Bella was in awe by how her nieces and nephew had grown. It was also lovely to see Eli’s daughter in person. She seemed to have adjusted well with Rico’s family, but Bella didn’t expect any less.
On the day of their anniversary, Nathan suggested that they asked Rico and Ceci’s eldest to babysit. They’d been told that Lucie was rather responsible, and sometimes babysat her own siblings. Even better, the teen had agreed to look after her cousins. With Lucie looking after the kids, Bella and Nathan were able to go out on the town. All dressed up, they headed out to a fancy restaurant to dine, followed by some much-needed quality time and as they took to the streets for sightseeing. They weren’t exactly tourists, seeing as their lives together began in New York, but it had been so long since they’d last been in the city. [image=http://tinyurl.com/n2hvn87] “I almost forgot how bright it is,” Bella remarked as they walked through Times Square. People were always in a hurry in New York, but Bella and Nathan strolled, hand in hand, s if they were all alone on a beach. “I’m scared,” Bella said after a while. “What if I don’t make it through the surgery? What if something goes detrimentally wrong? What if I do survive and end up worse than before, somehow? I’m not ready to leave this world behind…” It had been the first time she’d spoken her fears aloud. “We’ve been married for 9 years… I want 9 more. Hell, I want decades more!” Nathan squeezed her hand gently and pulled her close. He stopped them from walking to place his hands gently on Bella’s face. “We will get those decades more,” he told her. He sounded so sure, but Bella could see it in his eyes. He was scared too. After the bleeding incident, Bella had eventually left the hospital, with an important decision to make. Actually, it wasn’t as much a decision as it was something that she had to do. The surgery was no longer an option, it was a requirement. Still, there was so much to consider. At last, after much discussion, Bella and Nathan had settled on a partial hysterectomy that left her ovaries intact. It at least ensured that she wasn’t thrown into full-fledged menopause.
They’d also agreed on returning to New York for Bella’s procedure. Perhaps they had greater confidence in Western medicine. But regardless, Bella was afraid. She didn’t want to admit it, but the thought of being put under heavy anesthesia for quite an invasive surgery was frightening. What if she had a bad reaction to the anesthesia? What if there were major complications? What if she didn’t wake up? The only plus side was that the surgery gave her the chance at a better quality of life - if she made it, that is. These days, she was so drained of energy. She still taught classes and tended to the animals. She still took care of the kids, but it really took a lot out of her. Saddest of all, she knew her condition was taking a toll on Nathan. She could see the worry in his eyes. The surgery would at least get rid of her condition so they could move on and continue to enjoy their lives. Soon, they would be off to New York. But first, they had to make sure things would run smoothly at Ithemba in their absence. The moon outside was fully round, quite large, and an angry red colour. Almost mystical. Eerie. Excited about the moon, the girls managed to convince Nathan and Bella to take them outside for a stroll across the homestead’s grounds. Bella had been feeling the beginning of cramps since the morning, but as it had been her decision to stop the contraceptive injections, she decided to just suck it up and try to enjoy the night.
The injection had seemed like the perfect non-invasive solution, but the side effects (the weight gain, moodiness, and constant headaches) nearly drove Bella crazy. After talking to Nathan, they’d agreed on a D&C to scrape the lining of Bella’s uterus, and if that failed, she would try ablation - which sounded absolutely painful. Things between Nathan and Bella were a little tense. Often, she didn’t want to talk about the outcome of her new diagnosis. She wanted to go on living as if they hadn’t heard the news - as if she ultimately wouldn’t need major surgery. They’d started off their moonlight walk with Nathan holding Ralphie on his shoulders, and the girls running ahead, giggling and telling each other stories about the moon’s ‘powers’. Eventually, Ralphie wanted to run ahead with his sisters. Once Nathan set him down, the little guy took off. Nathan glanced at Bella, took her hand in his. “You okay?” She was walking slower than usual tonight, as the cramps she’d experienced throughout the day grew stronger and stronger. Her grip on Nathan’s hand made that evident. “Pain?” he asked. “Did you take something?” Bella nodded. “Do you want to head back in? I’ll stay with the kids.” “No,” said Bella, still as stubborn as ever. “Exercise is good for the pain. It’ll go away soon.” She knew it was a lie and so did Nathan. He gave her one of those ever-knowing looks. “If it gets too bad I’ll go lie down,” she promised. They continued walking, and soon, they were far enough away from their home. Nathan announced that it was time for them to head back and they began the journey back to their place. By the time they were close, Bella could barely walk anymore. She pressed a hand to her stomach, biting back a groan of pain. “Mummy?” Mya’s intelligent eyes were looking her way. “Go inside, sweetie,” Bella managed to get out. “You too, Eryn. Take your brother.” It was a wonder she even got the words out, but the kids obeyed, understanding that it was obviously a serious situation. Bella could feel a steady warmth, spreading, travelling down her leg. Tears filled her eyes and spilled over. There was no way to hide her pain this time. And this time, she had let it go too far. “I’m bleeding,” she told Nathan. She was certain of it. The look on his face was one of controlled panic. He was going to play the brave role for her although he was just as afraid. As they stepped closer to the light of the house, they could see better. Reflecting in the spooky red moon was a trail of red running down Bella’s legs. “Isabella, we-” They were the last words Bella heard before the world faded around her. She didn’t feel Nathan catch her. She didn’t feel when he lay her gently on the grass. Seconds later, she awoke to intense pains ripping through her abdomen. She had no choice but to go to the hospital now. And no choice but to take the operation, no doubt. Naturally, Nathan wanted to take Bella into town to a proper doctor, but as expected, Bella refused. It was part of being a woman, she’d argued. Menstruation happened. Sometimes (or always, lately) it was painful and heavy. She thought she’d finally convinced Nathan that she was fine, but he wasn’t giving up. As Bella retired from working one afternoon, Nathan was waiting in the living room for her. The rest of the house was quiet, and Bella could tell from Nathan’s face that he was in a serious mood. “I’m taking you to the doctor tomorrow morning,” he told her. “No arguing…” His look was enough to keep Bella from trying to argue anyway. She sighed. “Nathan--” “Nope, no arguing,” he said. He took her hand gently and led her to the couch, sitting her down. “I’m worried about you. Better we get you checked out than let you suffer. You shouldn’t have to keep going through this. Just let the doctor see you? I arranged for the kids to be taken care of tomorrow, and classes will be covered. Ulwazi will manage the place for the few hours that we’re gone. It’ll be fine.” Bella nodded. After all, there was no point in arguing. He’d taken care of everything. As much as Bella hated hospitals, she tried to be a good patient. She was cooperative and let the medical staff draw as much blood as needed. She remained still through the scans of her abdomen, and she’d even endured a pelvic examination. With all of the testing that needed to be done, the visit took longer than expected. After hours, Bella and Nathan sat in a consultation room with the doctor. He spurted out medical jargon like endometriosis, anemia, fibroids and uterine scarring. Then came the scariest word of all: surgery.
“No,” Bella said firmly. “There has to be another way.” “Surgery is the best option, but there are other ways,” the doctor said. “We can give you blood transfusions or IV infusions of iron to get your hemoglobin back up. I can also prescribe you a strong contraception to stop your menstruation completely, and it may help. Or we can do a small procedure to cauterize the blood vessels feeding the fibroids, but that won’t fix the endometriosis. I’d suggest starting with a D and C. That’s basically scraping…” “I know,” said Bella, cutting him off. “Scraping the lining of my uterus. I’ve had it done before. After the miscarriage” “Right, so are you willing to do any of these alternatives?” Bella didn’t want to look at Nathan, knowing he’d probably prefer that she took one of the options. For a moment, she stared down at the floor and thought about it. But when she looked up at the doctor again, her answer was clear. “No.” |
Isabella Kaylee DwyerWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2017
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