It was happening again. That ability to completely skip sleep and somehow be fully awake without an ounce of exhaustion. Bella paced up and down in the hotel room, trying to take the edge off. She wrung her hands, trying to keep them from shaking. Despite being in desperate need of a cigarette, she was trying her hardest not to succumb to temptation.
She focused her mind on her little nephew, so tiny and helpless. She had to admit, there was something about him--maybe that baby scent, maybe the soft cooing sounds he made--that made her smile constantly around him. No wonder people had babies. But then again, you couldnt just look at them all day. You had to feed them, and change their dirty nappies, and tend to them when they're fussy and crying. According to Amanda, Angelo had a tendency to get extremely fussy. It must be awful. Bella sighed. Okay, babies weren't all sweet smells and soft coos. Luckily, she would never have to worry about any of that. "Ouch!" Bella exclaimed as her big toe connected with the edge of the side table. In the darkness, in all of her aimless pacing, she'd lost track of her pacing. She collapsed on the couch, swearing at the pain while she tried to rub it away. On the bright side, she managed to sit still for an entire moment before getting up again. Now where was she? She couldn't recall. He mind raced on to the next topic at hand. What the hell was she doing with her life? Right now, she just wished she could sleep so at least she could wake up to a new day. With a sigh, opened her suitcase and stuck her hand inside it, feeling around for the small bottle of sleeping pills. Dumping two pills into her hand, she walked around again, this time in search of water to wash the pills down. Hopefully it was enough to propel her into a dreamless sleep. Hopefully
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Never in her life had Bella experienced such intense cold. She'd shivered so hard that she thought her bones would break, but in the end, it was so worth it. As many times as she'd fallen, she'd acquired several scrapes and bruises, not to mention a few days of being locked up in a hospital room for hypothermia. But she''d had company... her roommate, Isa, who'd landed in the hospital along with her.
Bella chuckled as Isa glanced over at her the first night in the hospital and whispered, "...We may be in the hospital for now, but at least we did it. We made it to the top of the mountain...!" It was definitely worth it. Standing there at the top of the mountain, with the snow pouring down on them and the amazing view of the terrain beneath the mountain peak was exhilarating. It was as though time had frozen and nothing else down below mattered. It was just them and the heavens above. Otherworldly... Incredible... Now, being back on the ground, Bella longed to be on a mountain top again. But instead, she held on to the memory. "Indeed, we made it," she replied at last. "Wanna do it again?" "Bloody hell..." Bella sighed as she leaned over the side of the barricade, staring at the canal before her. After days of wandering around Amsterdam, she felt no different. It was still: wake up--eat--smoke--walk--sleep--wakeup... She forgot what it felt like to be alive. Inside of her felt wound tightly, like her heart was being held in place by a million tautly-pulled rubber bands. She pinched her forearm, feeling a pain so faint that she could've imagined it. She needed more. She wondered if she'd feel more if she would bash her head against the concrete... or fling herself into the cool water.
"Get a hold of yourself, Bella," she said, smacking the side of her head. "Talking to yourself and hitting yourself?" she heard someone say beside her. Naturally, she turned towards the voice, startled. Defence mode activated. A lanky, blond fellow raised his hands in surrender. He looked harmless, but Bella didn't let down. Fists raised, she glowered at him. "I'm sorry," the guy apologised. "I was just being... friendly? Or well... failing miserably." Bella sighed. Perhaps she felt sorry for him. He seemed nice. But then again... She shook the thought out of her head. "How about we start over," said the guy. He extended his hand. "I'm Luuk. Are you from around here?" Bella backed away from him. She considered answering him, but her heart was starting to race as it did often these days. She turned and ran in the opposite direction, not stopping for even a second until she was back at her hotel suite. She leaned against the inside of her door, sinking down to the floor. Crap... she thought. Just when she thought she was getting better. "What's happening to you, Bella?" she asked aloud. "Are you losing your mind? ...yes... must be." |
Isabella Kaylee DwyerWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2017
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