In a way, things had returned to normal. Bella had a sense of pride. She and Nathan had been through possibly the biggest challenge yet and they’d survived it. Not only had the awkwardness fade between them, but the passion had returned as well. These days, they even snuck away from work duties to slip in some adult time. With the business of Ithemba, they were often too exhausted by nighttime, but that didn’t change the flame that had been ignited once again.
“Do you think we’ve achieved all that we can for Ithemba?” Bella asked as they lay in bed one night. She gazed up at his handsome, sweat-sheened face. “I mean… we have the adoption programmes, an intern programme, we’re doing great things with wildlife rescue and preservation… I think we’ve achieved the dream of a lifetime. What more is there to do?” It was something she’d been pondering for a while, even before she’d gotten sick. Now with all of the drama over, her mind was left free to ponder again. In the past, there always seemed to be improvements needed, but now it was a game of maintenance. Or at least so it seemed. Maybe it was time to go back to the drawing board and think of something else to incorporate. Or maybe it was time to just relax? Somehow Bella couldn’t quite fathom the latter, but she and Nathan needed to make a decision about the fate of Ithemba.
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Ever since Nathan took a leap and prepared a romantic outdoor dinner for them, their relationship had been gradually improving. They’d opened up the communication lines - no more secrets, no more silence. They talked through everything, regained each other’s trust, and before too long, they were beginning to feel like husband and wife again. Bella no longer felt like a stranger in her own home. She no longer saw that fear or detachment in Nathan’s eyes. The kids were happy, and the tension was gone.
The only thing they hadn’t regained was that fiery passion they held for each other. The lack of intimacy was due to many factors, starting from Bella’s recovery from surgery, leading up to the decline in her mental health, and ending in the lack of trust and a semi-broken marriage. Honestly, Bella had been afraid to take that step again. It had been so long and she didn’t know how it would work out after all of the bodily, hormonal and emotional changes. But, eventually, she decided it was time to throw caution to the wind and take a leap of faith just as Nathan had. Lately, Ralphie had been wandering to their room at night and wanting to climb into their bed. Sometimes one of the girls came by for some reason, usually with the ‘I can’t sleep’ excuse. Tonight, Bella asked Belie to keep an eye on the household while the kids slept. To ensure that she and Nathan had total privacy, she headed a good distance away from the homestead and set up a tent near the barrier of Ithemba and the lands beyond. Before Nathan returned from his nighttime checks of the animal habitats, Bella made sure to shower, put on some alluring lingerie beneath her clothes, and then she began her plan for the night. She left little notes for Nathan, hinting at her location. She’d bought a new soap at the market in the days before, so in the bedroom, she hinted at the new soap in the bathroom. From the bathroom, she hinted at the dessert wine and chocolate covered strawberries that she’d prepared and left in the kitchen for Nathan to bring along. In the kitchen, she left a note that told him to step out of their home and keep walking westward. Meanwhile, Bella waited anxiously in the tent. She wore nothing but a silk robe over her new lingerie, and she’d made sure to get her hair at least semi-tame. When she heard Nathan’s footsteps approaching, her heart raced, but she quickly realised that it wasn’t out of fear, but rather out of excitement. She hoped that the night would be magical and that they’d regain the passion that they’d lost. There was a very small scheduled break at Ithemba. At least for classes and such. Of course there was never quite a ‘break’ for the workers. The animals still had to be fed and cared for. Some wild ones had to be rescued. But the break was really for repairs, reviews of how classes were going, and lots and lots of paperwork.
Belie was overloaded with paperwork this season, so Bella chipped in rather than helping out with repairs in the animal habitats. She would’ve much rather been out there with the animals and with Nathan, but the paperwork was an necessary evil. They’d been this busy before, the only difference was that Nathan used to sneak breaks to come visit Bella in the office. He used to maybe even whip them up a light lunch, or something. These days, he was returning to the house later and later. His excuse was always that there was a lot to get done in little time. Especially in the elephant habitat where the young ones seemed to take pleasure in destroying fences and other structures. It was rather late on this particular day when Bella started to worry. Nathan wasn’t answering his phone and it had been dark outside for quite a while. Eventually, she got a call through to Ulwazi, who confirmed that Nathan was working in the elephant habitat. The kids were in bed and Belie was nearby, so Bella decided to head over to the elephant habitat and offer Nathan some help. When she arrived, however, she could sense that invisible wall between them. It had been there a lot lately. Like there was an unseen force keeping them apart. “Need help?” Bella asked. “No, I’m almost finished. Thanks though.” He smiled over his shoulder at him and continued doing whatever he was doing. Bella bit her lip. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but soon the words flew out anyway. “You’re avoiding me,” she said. “You keep coming to bed after I’m asleep, or working when I have a break, or… just not saying much to me. Look, I’m really sorry for everything. I’m sorry I kept secrets from you and got to the point where I completely lost it. I promise I’ll never keep secrets again. I want to stay open with you. I want things to be as they were before.” Her little speech finally got Nathan’s attention. “Please don’t shut me out,” she pleaded. “I miss you…” She longed to have him close again. Not just in a sensual way, but emotionally. She missed when he would just take her into his arms and hug her. She missed their silly little conversations and their academic arguments that they often just laughed about later. “Tell me that things would be back to normal soon,” she asked him. But in her heart, she knew it wasn’t that simple. With all the repairs going on in Ithemba, their marriage needed a repair too. |
Isabella Kaylee DwyerWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2017
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