Bella never handled grief very well. She’d always thought that she was the weaker one of her siblings, falling into depression and eventually being diagnosed with bipolar, but she’d learned through the years that she was stronger than she thought. Today, however, she felt vulnerable. Surrounded by sorrow, and feeling her insides blacken once again. Death did that to a person. It robbed them of happiness. Of hope. Especially the death of one’s baby brother. How could life be so cruel? It had been a long time since Bella had taken any antidepressants or even antipsychotics. With Nathan’s help, even pre-pregnancy, she’d managed to keep her condition under control with a proper diet and lifestyle changes. Yet, today, she was tempted. She knew for a fact that situations like this could trigger psychological illnesses, and the last thing she wanted was to put her family through more turmoil. Bella’s way of coping had always been to keep her emotions to herself. She’d gotten into such a difficult habit of holding everything in until she exploded. This time, learning from the past, she’d let all of those fumes out in the open. Back home at Ithemba, she’d walked the grounds beyond their house, she’d screamed, she’d kicked at trees, she’d cried until the tears seemed to dry out. Only then was she able to face her family. Only then she’d been able to tuck her daughters in, to kiss her husband goodnight, to comfort Belie… Poor Belie. Eli had been her only friend. Eli’s wedding had perhaps been the last time the entire Rosewell-Barthel-van Loon family was together. It was quite… funny that Eli’s wedding was the next even to bring everyone together again. Funny in a sick, twisted way, that is. Life was twisted in that way. Wasn’t it just the other day that Bella was thanking the powers above for letting her husband survive malaria? Now her brother had been taken from her. A life for a life. Bella felt Nathan’s hand slip over hers. She squeezed his, closing her eyes to contain her emotions during the funeral ceremony. The trip had been a lot for Nathan as he was still recovering. But he was stubborn, just like her. The girls didn’t quite understand death just yet, but they knew that they would never see their Uncle Eli again. They knew he was gone forever and that it was a sad thing. So much of Bella’s life had been so sad that she wished to shelter the girls from sadness as long as possible. But life (and death) happened. It was a reality that she and Nathan had to explain to them; the toddler version of course. At the funeral and burial, the girls clung to their parents, sensing all the grief around them. Then there was the repast in which the family received millions of condolences and partook of the refreshments and drinks there. Bella didn’t have much of an appetite, but she managed to eat some fruit and watch Eryn mingle like a social butterfly while Mya smiled shyly at everyone. Despite all of the sadness, once they left the repast, the girls were their usual, silly selves, bringing the smile to Bella’s face once again. Bella couldn’t imagine raising the girls without her husband by her side. She felt Aelin’s pain. As they headed back to the hotel for the night, Bella sent Aelin a text:
Like Rico said, we’re here for you if you need anything. You’re a Barthel after all.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Isabella Kaylee DwyerWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2017
Categories |