There was no denying that things had been tense since Amanda, Niels and the kids had first arrived in London. There was the news of Bella's injuries, the death of Ceci's sister-in-law, and now Amanda heard through the grapevine that her biological sister, Ambra, had also passed away. Though they weren't even on speaking terms, Amanda's gut wrenched when she heard the news. She hoped that her niece and her new nephew, although she hadn't even met her nephew, were in good hands.
Despite all the tension, Emi seemed oblivious. She was constantly dancing around their hotel room. "Wook at me, mummy!" she kept saying. She'd changed into her ballet tutu countless times, insisting that it made her 'twirl' better. At last, Amanda went to Niels and had a quick, easily agreed upon talk with him. Then, without further discussion, they were on their way into town. "Wheah are we going?" Emi asked as she skipped along between her parents. It was a nice day and their destination wasn't too far away. "You'll see," Amanda said with a smile. Angelo babbled happily in his pram meanwhile. After a few minutes, they arrived in front of a dance school. As they entered the edifice, classical music rang clearly in the lobby. Emi looked around excitedly at the posters of ballerinas and contemporary dancers. As Niels spoke to the receptionist, Emi tugged on Amanda's skirt. "I get to do ba...lay?" she asked. Amanda smiled proudly at Emi's pronunciation, knowing that she had difficulties saying l's and r's. "Yes you do, Emi," she replied. "Would you like that?" "Yes!" Emi beamed, willingly letting a teacher's assistant lead her into the classroom once the paperwork was completed. After half an hour, Emi ran out of the studio and right into her daddy's arms. "I did baway... I mean ba-lay!" she exclaimed. Niels chuckled. "Good job, princess. Were so proud of you!"
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Amanda's curiosity was almost getting the best of her. Once again, she'd somehow allowed Niels to blindfold her. She could only feel the terrain and the soft spring breeze blowing through her hair as he led her through... somewhere. She could hear Emi's excited squeals and Angelo's reactive laughter. Most comfortingly, she could feel Niels holding her securely. After walking for what felt like forever, Amanda was guided onto a bench. Her blindfold was removed and Niels whispered, “Here we are, remember this?”
Amanda stared at her surroundings with large eyes, memories flooding back to the forefront of her mind. it had been Valentine's Day, over 5 years ago, when Niels had brought Amanda to the gardens of the Palais du Luxembourg. There, at the pond where there were dozens of children playing with toy boats, Amanda had gotten lost in her dreams. Niels had pulled her onto his lap and wondered aloud if one day they could bring their future children to this very location. That evening, he had gotten down on one knee inside of the Eiffel tower and proposed to her. Tears of joy came to Amanda's eyes as she looked at her little family now. As many curveballs as life had thrown at them, some dreams still came through. "I'm glad you like it," Niels told her. "Happy anniversary, baby." They say that blood is thicker than water, but lately, Amanda wondered exactly what that meant. Was it that biological ties were supposedly stronger than all others? It seemed lately that it was all the same. Blood ties, adoptive families... they all seemed to disappoint in one way or another.
Every day, Amanda found herself gazing a tad longer at her little family. It was certainly lovely having Zelda around, or as Emi said 'Aunty Zewa." She offered great support to them, always willing to babysit, and of course it was just nice to have a dependable family member in their midst. Still, Amanda couldn't help but wonder what it was about her that made her so easily... neglected. If that was even the correct word. Niels' family was more that loving to her, but her family... Some days, Amanda felt nothing but solemn bewilderment. After all of these years, she'd expected acceptance. Niels was a part of her now, and their two children the proof of their love. Niels treated her like a queen. What greater proof was needed to show that he was a perfect gentleman, a loving husband and an excellent father? What more was needed to gain acceptance. Every once in a while, it felt like they'd backtracked to their childhood; the days when she and Niels had to sneak around just or a moment together. The days when their love was forbidden and their families behaved more like Romeo and Juliet's families. A decade and a half later... had much changed? Amanda stood on the balcony and looked at the massive expanse that was their backyard. They seemed to be living large: a villa, no financial concerns, the seemingly perfect family... Yet there was a hole growing in Amanda's chest. She longed for close-knit relatives on both sides. She longed for friends she could share things with. For a best friend--someone detached from her relatives--who would be there for her and her little family. Was it too much to ask? The day started off as any other. Angelo announced the morning with his demanding cries, Emi came racing into the bedroom to 'help',but today Angelo's crankiness didn't prevail. Instead, he lay on his parents' bed, babbling contentedly while Emi chatted him up. "Guess what, guess what! I'm fouw!" She held up four fingers adeptly, demonstrating to her little brother just how to count them. Amanda exchanged glances with Niels. It was about time for their littler girl to socialise with others her age--a real school perhaps, aside from their regular homeschooling. Or maybe just some extracurricular activities. Wow... was their little girl really at that age already? Hadn't it only been just yesterday when they brought her home from the hospital? After a while of staring at her babies, Amanda finally announced that it was breakfast time, and after that, whatever Emi wanted to do. Emi immediately insisted on going outside, following breakfast. It was a nice day, so her parents complied. Her hair was done, she was dressed nicely, and out they went, into the backyard. A few snapshots later, Amanda had two pictures to send to her siblings and her mum. Emilia Paris turns 4 today. I can hardly believe it! <3 She lingered in her text messages for a while, a frown ghosting over her face. But, Angelo's squeals of excitement--a chain reaction of Emi's laughter--distracted her. She managed a smile. "Hey, Emi. How would you feel about your friends Jarrett and Tansy coming over?" she asked.
Emi beamed. "I'd wike that," she said. Amanda smiled and headed inside. It would be a long day, but thank goodness for another year of life for her spunky little girl. Amanda cuddled up against Niels as they made it to the shore again. "Just a moment longer?" she whispered. It had been the first time that they'd had complete alone time apart from the children. Being in Rio for a big event had its benefits: free babysitters.
They'd rented a boat the day before, and early in the morning, they'd taken to the open seas. Just for a few hours before they had to board a plane to Paris. There was something peaceful of being alone out there on the water, aside from other boats or personal watercrafts in passing. They'd been fortunate to spot a pair of dolphins from afar, and immediately, Amanda thought aloud, "Oh Emi would've loved that!" When she noticed Niels' look of amusement, she grinned sheepishly. If it wasn't official before, it was official now: she was a mother first and foremost. She thought she wouldn't be able to put the children out of her thoughts for even a moment, but soon she was so wrapped up in being alone out on the vast ocean with her love that everything else was long forgotten. Who would've thought that she'd be this happily in love today. That on Valentine's Day, she'd actually have a Valentine for life. Now, back on shore, she looked into his eyes. "Thank you for being my Valentine," she said. "Ti amo." "Per sempre." |
Amanda at a GlanceNames: Amanda Pontremoli, Amanda van Loon Archives
August 2017
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