It was a rewarding day at Miller’s. Amanda was all smiles as she was greeted after class. Teaching the mother and baby class had been a bit of an adventure. At first, she wondered if she was even capable. For one, she’d never taught such a class, and then there was Elia’s mood—what if her baby girl had decided to be fussy and totally uncooperative? To her pleasant surprise, Elia had been a perfect example during her mother and baby class. A few times she'd attempted to crawl away, but they’d made it through the class.
After a break, it was time for the mothers’ ballet class. Amanda wondered why she’d never known of such a class while her two older children were infants. It was a splendid idea. Elia seemed to actually like being strapped to Amanda’s chest. Perhaps it was the closeness, but either way, Amanda was relieved. As she stood in front of her classroom of mothers with their own infants strapped to their chests, she demonstrated. “Tendu, back to first, plie and straighten." She recited the mantra over and over. As she demonstrated chaines turns across the floor, twirling Elia around in the midst, the baby girl giggled. She was enjoying this treat, for certain. It wasn’t until near the end of the class that she decided it was time for lunch. She tugged rather aggressively at Amanda’s shirt, making her chuckle. Amanda ended up having to distract her with a few more turns. Then at last, she made it through the class. It was a great start to a new career. Once Elia was strapped into her car seat again, in the parking lot of Miller’s, Amanda sent a text to her husband, inquiring if she could bring some pizza or something to the Barthel household. Niels was helping Rico set up a new baby nursery, and her children were most likely having a blast with their cousin Lucie. As much as Amanda enjoyed working again, and even though she’d had fleeting thoughts about a professional dance career, there was one thing she could never trade. Her family.
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Her children were living miracles. All three of them, but her youngest two especially. Both Angelo and Eliana had been born with complications. Her little angel was born virtually on time, but sustained a brachial plexus injury to his left shoulder upon birth. Both Amanda and Niels had watched him struggle from day one to make use of his injured arm. He’d gone from being unable to grip anything, to being able to hold his arm completely above his head with enough encouragement. There was still lots of room for improvement, but he was healing. Eliana was born quite tiny due to her pre-maturity and struggled to breathe on her own in the beginning. After a half a year of constantly worrying about her, Amanda felt more at ease. “Look at them,” she said to Niels. “They’re absolutely perfect.” Angelo was chatting away with Elia as she pointed to random things that could only be imaginative. Little specks of dust, fallen leaves... Then her big sister stole the spotlight over those imaginative things. Angelo and Elia giggled as Emi twirled around in the grass, the skirt of her dress flowing around her so elegantly it seemed to have been created just for dance. She’d chosen it especially to ‘perform’ for Angelo’s birthday, and indeed Angelo seemed to love watching his big sister dance.
“Yay!” he exclaimed, clapping. He was clapping! Quite perfectly, if it wasn’t just Amanda’s mind playing tricks on her. He would be fine. One day, he would have full use of both hands and perhaps his childhood struggles would be far behind him. “Hey! Has anyone seen a little boy around here? Approximately this tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, four years old?” Angelo’s eyes lit up. He jumped to his feet and exclaimed excitedly. “I’m foah!” Amanda laughed softly. “You most certainly are.” Despite the lack of complications in the last few weeks, Amanda was still wary of Eliana sleeping through the night in her nursery. Every moment, she checked the baby monitor to ensure that her youngest was doing fine. In her mind, she knew that it was time to stop worrying, but it was easier said than done.
Late Sunday night, she lay in bed, staring at the screen of the baby monitor. Niels’ arm remained protectively around her waist, his head partially against her bosom. He was grateful to officially get their baby girl out of their bedroom. It meant a greater chance for just the two of them. “Love, she’s fine,” he said. He rolled onto his side and gently took the handheld monitor from his wife. “You need to sleep. You can’t keep doing this. We need to resume everyday living.” Amanda pouted. “I know,” she admitted. “I just worry.” Perhaps it was just fear, but she didn’t feel as though Elia was out of danger just yet. “Didn’t you have to talk to Ceci about the dance teacher position?” “Tomorrow,” Amanda promised. Niels gave her a look that made her laugh softly. “I mean it. I’ll give her a call first thing in the morning.” “Good,” said Niels. He set the baby monitor on his side table and lay on his back, pulling Amanda against his chest. “Baby, at this rate, I’ll be forced to proactively distract you again,” he teased. He playfully caressed her side. “Niels!” Amanda laughed. “You’re unbelievable. She grinned, amused. “You don’t mind.” He was smiling more tenderly at her now. “Sleep, love.” Amanda resisted for a moment, but at last, she closed her eyes and drifted off to dreamland. "My pain's gone mummy, no doctoh..." Angelo looked at her with desperate eyes. If there was one thing he hated more than physical therapy, it was the doctor. He feared returning there. Amanda stopped walking and bent to give him her full attention. It made her heart ache, seeing the pain in her son's blue eyes. It was her fault. With the preterm labour, Elia coming sooner than expected, and having to watch the newest baby practically every second of the day, they'd slacked off on Angelo's physical therapy.
"Sweetness, remember what mummy told you? We're going to the physical therapist again so you can work on those muscles. Come on. Let me see them." Angelo pouted for a moment, but then he held up his arms, flexing what little biceps he had. It was so cute that Amanda couldn't help but laugh. She pressed a kiss against his forehead. "That's my boy," she said. She took his hand again and continued into the building. For a physical therapy practice, it was a rather cheerful atmosphere. The laughter of children seemed to bleed through the walls, but Angelo seemed closer to tears already. "Hey," Amanda whispered. She leaned close again. "Once your arm is better you can play with Emi and Elia with more ease. You want that, right?" Angelo nodded and wiped tears from his eyes. When it was his turn to go into the room, he clung to Amanda's hand tightly. She smiled encouragingly at him and remained by his side. Amanda knew how much he hated the exercises he had to do. Holding his arms above his head to grasp the 'Olympic' rings was especially uncomfortable for him. However, he did like the ladder and the roller mat wasn't so bad. A sigh of relief left Amanda's lips when she saw a smile light up her son's eyes. He was having fun. She knew there was a chance that later he would feel the soreness in his weaker arm, but he was strong. In more ways than one. Things seemed more at ease. The van Loons had even been able to make their annual trip to London. The streets were filled with morbid festivities, people of every identity running around scantily dressed or fully nude for the sake of Day of the Dead. It was the perfect breeding ground for illness. “I’m not taking her out there,” said Amanda. Her tone was adamant, but she smiled down at her baby girl lying on the bed. Coos of happiness bubbled past Elia's lips. Her green eyes were alive with excitement. Niels leaned over the bed, his finger seeking Elia's strong grip. A smile touched his lips as well. “Perhaps we can go to the park just for—”
“Nmh-mm,” Amanda responded, shaking her head. “Tomorrow, perhaps.” Niels sighed and sat beside her. His hand softly ran over her hair. “You worry too much,” he said. “She’s okay. She will be okay. A little bit of fresh air and sunlight never does any harm. Most will be at the cemetery anyway, so the park ought to be safe. You need to get out.” Amanda knew it was true. They’d managed to leave their baby girl behind for a few hours on Amanda’s birthday a few days ago—some alone time—while Belie babysat. However, Amanda had returned to her usual routine immediately. The lack of proper sleep, the constant surveillance over their baby girl. She found herself repetitively placing her hand against Elia’s chest to feel the rise and fall or placing a finger above Elia’s nose for proof of her breathing. It was nerve-wrecking looking after a fragile neonate, but Niels was right. Elia was fine and they all needed to get out. They were in London after all. The whole family was there. “Okay,” said Amanda. “I'll get the kids ready. Ask our parents if they want to bring Aubrey along... We’re taking Elia to the park.” After Elia's two apnea episodes in the hospital, Amanda was constantly checking on her newborn. She spent hours staring at the baby monitor and she found it especially hard to sleep, but Elia was thriving. She was eating well, growing daily, and she had another pair of eyes on her almost every waking hour.
"She's so cute," said Emi, staring at her sister. "Can I hold her again?" Amanda chuckled and nodded her head. Emi knew the routine already. She sat down on the couch and made sure that she was settled before holding her arms out. "Remember--" Amanda began to say, but Emi interrupted. "--be gentle. She's delicate," she said, finishing Amanda's sentence. Pride swelled in Amanda's chest. "That's right," she aid, placing Elia in her big sister's arms. The infant cooed softly, looking up at Emi. It seemed like it wasn't so long ago that Emi was Elia's age. She was a happy baby, easily appeased and very consolable. In this way, Elia was similar, exhibiting the same general calmness. The only difference was that Amanda often had to wake Elia for a feeding while Emi used to scream her head off as soon as she got hungry. "Is she going to stay this little for a long time?" Emi asked. "Well.. I heard that babies this small grow rather fast," Amanda said. "We'll just have to see huh?" She gently stroked Emi's hair. What she really wanted to say was that all children grew way too quickly. One moment, they were in your arms, and the next they were turning seven years old. Before you knew it, they had minds of their own, blossoming personalities that baffled, their own interests. Amanda glanced at the pictures on the table, beautiful photos that Rico had taken of Emi. She was certainly blossoming. "Elia will grow fast, but always be my little girl," Amanda told Emi. "Just like you'll always be my little girl. No matter how big you get." |
Amanda at a GlanceNames: Amanda Pontremoli, Amanda van Loon Archives
August 2017
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