Growing up wasn’t as easy as Emilia expected. Friends were getting harder and harder to make, and somehow she seemed to get shier with each day. At times, she walked into school and immediately stared down at the floor so that no one would see her face.
Even being in the dance studio was different. She remembered the days when she stepped into the studio, and whether or not there was music, once she started to dance, the whole world faded away. These days her mind was wrapped up in so many things. Sometimes she would stand in front of the mirror and stare at her changing body. She wasn’t sure if she liked it. She felt awkward. Strange in her own skin. Her joints ached. Growing pains, her parents called it. Worst of all, she didn’t know how things were supposed to be as a normal 12-year-old girl. She’d heard stories and knew that her parents were already in love at that age. They’d given her that gross talk, but she’d told them there was nothing to worry about. After all, she had no special feelings towards boys. They weren’t any different than Angelo and Nicco after all. Or her daddy and uncles. What was she supposed to feel? She’d seen a picture of her friends... kissing... It made her feel a little strange. Maybe she wasn’t normal. Shouldn’t she be kissing boys by now too? Or at least wanting to? She shook the thoughts out of her head and stared at the mirror in her room for the sixth time today. She hadn’t really come out of her room, since her stomach was feeling weird. There was a strange pain in her lower belly that made her want to lie in bed all day. Emi was just about to return to bed when she felt a strange sensation that sent her running to the bathroom instead. Then she saw it. Red. Scary red! For a moment, she calmly reminded herself of what her mum had explained to her. Menstruation. She knew this would happen. But still... Without much thought, she started to scream for her mum.
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Emilia at a glanceNames: Emilia Paris van Loon Archives
April 2017
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