Since her parents had been in London for Isa’s wedding, Emi had gotten the chance to see them again. So she didn’t miss them as much anymore. Now, she was a little sad that her time London was coming to an end. Soon, she would have to return to New York. She had learned a lot in London, though. Between babysitting classes and dance camp, she felt more grown up now. She hadn’t really met any new friends, but she’d been able to spend time with her aunts and uncle, her cousins, and even Maddie. She’d learned that she was actually a pretty good babysitter, too! Emi had been staring at the blank screen on the computer monitor or a long time, wondering what to write in the email to her parents. At last, she decided to stop thinking and just write. Dear mum and dad,
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The first day of dance camp in London was incredible. Since it was an advanced, accelerated programme, Emi felt really challenged. Even more importantly, the classes weren’t so large that she was lost amongst the students. Only a certain amount of people could get into this programme.. She had no idea what strings her aunt Zelda had pulled to get her into the programme but she was grateful. Yet… she was even more excited for the night. It would be her first babysitting job! Aside from looking after her brothers and sister, at least. ~~ Ding dong. Emi ran to the door excitedly, yelling to Zelda that she would answer it. Even Aubrey was excited. She loved little babies as well. As Emi opened the door, she greeted her Uncle Eli and his pretty fiancee Aelin. Her newest cousin was wide awake in Aelin’s arms and she was just soooo adorable. Those big, blue-grey eyes and those chubby cheeks. She looked just like a baby doll. Her Uncle Eli and soon-to-be-aunt Aelin gave her a whole bunch of instructions: about feeding, diaper changing, bedtime… Emi listened carefully and even made sure to safely tuck the list of instructions away in her pocket. She’d never known babies to come with instructions but her parents had always said that Uncle Eli was very punctual. “I’ll take good care of her, I promise,” said Emi. Her Aunt Zelda came into the room and a few words were exchanged between them, but Emi was too excited to play with her cousin. She took Athena into the living room and asked Aubrey to help her spread out the playmat. Soon, Athena was sitting on the mat, some toys spread all around her and she seemed super happy. Emi took a bunch of pictures on her new phone and sent it to her parents. “Look I’m babysitting today! She’s so cute!” Maybe she was just lucky, but babysitting was actually a piece of cake. A warm bottle of milk later and some gentle rocking and her baby cousin was fast asleep. For now...
It felt more than strange, being in an aeroplane all alone. Well, she wasn’t all alone in a sense of the others around her, but in the past she’d always travelled with her family. On the way to London, the cabin crew aboard the aeroplane made sure to keep an eye on her. They constantly checked on her, brought her activity books and kept her entertained and well-fed. They were so nice that she wished she could give them a thank you card or something.
She felt like a grown up travelling all alone, and she was actually excited to finish off her summer in London. Her Aunt Zelda had gotten her into one of the most prestigious ballet schools in London; in an accelerated program with a strong focus on classical ballet. Her grandma was paying for it too! Aside from ballet, she was excited that she would be able to see her aunt Zelda, grandparents and Aubrey again. She’d even get to meet her Uncle Eli and his fiancee’s new baby girl, Athena. And then there were the two foster kids that her grandma and grandpa took care of. She’d heard they could be quite moody though so perhaps she wasn’t excited to meet them. Maybe she could even see Daphne and Maëlys. It had been a long time since she'd seen them too. Then there were her friends. For a moment, she wondered if she’d see Elijah and Jarrett. Maybe even Tansy. But she doubted it. She hadn’t heard from them in… years. Maybe they’d forgotten all about her. She was also nervous to see Maddie again, mainly because she had been quite cranky when she saw the picture of Maddie and León kissing. But she didn’t have a reason to be mad. They were her friends. Maybe the only two good friends she had left. She really hoped the summer would end well! New York was so huge. In all of the movies, it seemed like some magical place. A place where people somehow just fell in love doing ordinary, everyday tasks. Yet, to Emi, sometimes it was just overwhelmingly big. There were so many kids in school and none of them really seemed to have much of an interest in her. Ballet classes were even larger. She was pretty much just another number in class. Nothing special.
Sure, at home, things were very different. They lived in the suburbs. Well, kind of. There was more greenery in their town than in most of NYC, not to mention that she was more than just a number at home. She was the eldest sister. The eldest child in fact. She knew her parents loved her with all of their hearts, as did the rest of her siblings. She even was convinced that she had the cutest brothers and sister in the whole wide world. Yet... she wanted to be somewhere else. Just to see how things would be. She wanted to be one of those girls who had tons of friends and lived a small-town life. She loved Paris, and she loved London. There was really no one for her to go to in Paris unless it was with her family, but in London she had a few friends and there were a lot of relatives there too. Her parents were in the kitchen after dance class. Emi had spent some time in her room, listing pros and cons for what she wanted to ask her parents. She knew it was probably silly, but she would never know unless she asked. Heading into the kitchen with her list of pros and cons, Emi asked, "Can I talk to you both?" They so quickly left what they were doing and sat at the kitchen island with her. "So," Emi began. "I want to go to London for the rest of the summer." She bit her lip. It was tough to request. "Aunty Zelda is there, and Uncle Eli, Aunt Belie, and then there's grandpa, grandma and Aubrey. I'll be safe, and I'll get to see some of my friends who live in London, like Maddie... And it's a nice town! Can I go, please? I promise I'll be good." Growing up wasn’t as easy as Emilia expected. Friends were getting harder and harder to make, and somehow she seemed to get shier with each day. At times, she walked into school and immediately stared down at the floor so that no one would see her face.
Even being in the dance studio was different. She remembered the days when she stepped into the studio, and whether or not there was music, once she started to dance, the whole world faded away. These days her mind was wrapped up in so many things. Sometimes she would stand in front of the mirror and stare at her changing body. She wasn’t sure if she liked it. She felt awkward. Strange in her own skin. Her joints ached. Growing pains, her parents called it. Worst of all, she didn’t know how things were supposed to be as a normal 12-year-old girl. She’d heard stories and knew that her parents were already in love at that age. They’d given her that gross talk, but she’d told them there was nothing to worry about. After all, she had no special feelings towards boys. They weren’t any different than Angelo and Nicco after all. Or her daddy and uncles. What was she supposed to feel? She’d seen a picture of her friends... kissing... It made her feel a little strange. Maybe she wasn’t normal. Shouldn’t she be kissing boys by now too? Or at least wanting to? She shook the thoughts out of her head and stared at the mirror in her room for the sixth time today. She hadn’t really come out of her room, since her stomach was feeling weird. There was a strange pain in her lower belly that made her want to lie in bed all day. Emi was just about to return to bed when she felt a strange sensation that sent her running to the bathroom instead. Then she saw it. Red. Scary red! For a moment, she calmly reminded herself of what her mum had explained to her. Menstruation. She knew this would happen. But still... Without much thought, she started to scream for her mum. Comments #1. You're so beautiful, Princess, and such a talented dancer! We're proud of you! *smiles*
Niels van Loon #2. *smiles widely* Thank you, daddy! Emilia van Loon |
Emilia at a glanceNames: Emilia Paris van Loon Archives
April 2017
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