*Dedicated to Rico*
You're only near 9 months old now, but you're so smart. I believe you realised that I was unhappy. You knew things weren't right. A couple nights ago you said a new word: dada - but daddy wasn't around to hear it. That night your daddy and I didn't speak much. The next day I dragged you across the world to South Africa. Your friend Gabe was there but you didn't play much with him. You held on to me as I cried to your godmother, Angel and you whispered to me, "dada." I didn't want to talk to you father - we were in the middle of our first real fight after 1 year of marriage. For the rest of the day you kept uttering "dada" and looking at me with those big blue eyes. Eyes just like your father's. Then finally, after seeing the sadness in those eyes I made a call to your father and we talked things out. The truth is, even when we fight, your daddy and I still love each other. And maybe you've taught me that it's best to talk things out when things are bad. Running away does a lot more harm than it does good. So, Rico, mummy and daddy will work things out. There's no way our family will fall apart because we share our love for you. Thanks for the reminder.
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I just need some time. If I can smile during the day and be upset at night, there's still some fixing left to do. I doesn't mean that I'm depressed - I'm not really. I think we all need some personal time at some point. Now is my time. I think it will be good for me. Then I can be back to my normal sunshiny self.
I just received a call from my mother-in-law, Kristel. She's having a baby! Yay! Rico and my little pumpkin will be older than their aunt/uncle but, hey, I love this family. Even if I'm still angry with SOMEBODY! - you know who you are, Mister! This news was exciting enough to bring me right out of hiding. Congratulations John and Kristel! <3 Comments
#1. Oh well thank you Rosa, I love you too very much and I am glad that you feel better!<3 Kristel Duyvelshof #2. hehe, I'm so excited for you! :D Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #3. Thank you I am very excited too:D Kristel Duyvelshof #4. <3 Rosa Rosewell-Barthel The sun will come out tomorrow. It's rained long enough on my parade, don't you think? A few days ago I just wanted to disappear. Today I heard some news that put my mind a ease a bit. You know who you are - I'm sorry I ever caused a problem. Rico will be nine months old soon. He is tiring me out, but he always brings a smile to my face. I love my little boy, and my little unborn pumpkin. I left the house for the first time in 3 days today. I did some jamming, hung out with Sofia. Of course I retreated back to my home, but at least I took the first step. I think I will be okay. Comments
#1. That's great!(And whoever the person is:) just wanted to let you know that you were not a problem actually a great challenge to prove their love):)! Alexia Carter #2. *smiles* Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #3. *Hugs* I wish I could be there! Alexia Carter #4. Why? Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #5. Because i'm your friend? Alexia Carter #6. LOL! Good answer. :) Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #7. Well at least I made you smile:)! Alexia Carter #8. Yes you did. Thanks. Rosa Rosewell-Barthe The easiest thing to do in the midst of a problem is to run away from it. Sure it's cowardly, but it's convenient. But what if the problem is YOU? How can you run away from yourself? Is it possible? Just a thought... a stupid thought maybe, but a thought nevertheless.
Kids always think about running away at some point in their lives. They want to run away because mum and dad boss them around or because their siblings annoy them. They want to run away because they got a bad grade in school and are too afraid to show their parents. If only problems were that easy in adulthood... but things get complicated as you grow up. Why do we have to grow up? It will be nice to stay in the age of innocence, where mum and dad fight our battles. Or maybe our older sister or brother. So it all goes back to running away.. Yes, I've messed up. I've said some things that I should've kept to myself. That's what happens when people try to talk to me while I'm in a bad mood!!! I could've just shut my mouth and walk away. This is why I prefer to keep things to myself. Blame me if you would like to. It's possible that I may be responsible. I am very sorry for saying anything that may have been interpreted wrong. This is why I am putting myself on lock down. Eventually, things will get better. They have to. I know they will. But for now.. Comments
#1. But for now... you need a hug! *sends a tight warm hug* Sofia Stoner #2. Sofia, you are too kind. *accepts hug* Thank you. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #3. I do not agree ! It is not your fault my love. They messed up themselves. Roy Barthel #4. :( Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #5. Rosa does this relate to me? you know what don't answer. Alexia Carter I wish I had the ability to disguise myself... go undercover... I don't want to see anyone or talk right now... I'll emerge again when the flowers bloom, when the sun shines again. Comments
#1. Rosa:( Alexia Carter #2. Ah sweety what is the matter? *gives you a big hug* Kristel Duyvelshof #3. Nothing... a lot... I don't know. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #4. Hmmm you feel a little bit lost? Kristel Duyvelshof #5. I was just there you were fine, i'm coming back Alexia Carter #6. I don't know. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #7. And Lexi, no. DON'T. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #8. I have no other choice. Alexia Carter #9. <3333 Sofia Stoner #10. I don't deserve that right now, Sofia. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #11. Than you deserve and need it even more! <3 Sofia Stoner #12. Well... thank you. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #13. If you want to talk... I'm here for you, only when you're ready. :) Sofia Stoner #14. Thanks, but talking to people is only causing problems. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #15. That is not true.. still that's why I said when you're ready.. I won't force you now. :) Sofia Stoner #16. ... thank you. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #17. *sends a warm hug and a lots of bottles filled with happiness* Don't drink them all at once. :) Sofia Stoner #18. That's a sweet thought. I appreciate it. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #19. Take your time... <3 Sofia Stoner #20. <3 Rosa Rosewell-Barthel Why do I have so many friends and family members, yet I feel so disconnected lately? I don't see anyone in person. Thank you Lexi for hanging with me for the past few days...but you're leaving now. I'll miss you. I miss spending time with Angel, Romy and Amy. I haven't seen Kristel, John and the kids in so long. I don't even see Mike sometimes. Perhaps this wouldn't bother me so much when I'm on the road and fully entertained. But right now it's making me feel a bit blue. :( Of course Roy is here, but he's busy preparing for his tour. It takes away a lot of his energy. And also, Rico takes away a lot of both our energy (*smiles*). He's right here with me, yet sometimes I feel all by myself. Yikes... a few days ago my friend Sofia said I was a positive person. What's happened to me in those few days? Comments
#1. Living on the road makes us miss our friends, but we'll enjoy the company of our love ones even more when we're with them. *gives a tight hug* Sofia Stoner #2. You know, it's funny... I just edited the end of this blog and you commented before I even wrote that part. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #3. You needed and deserved that hug even before you put the rest in your blog.. don't force yourself to be happy all the time. The unhappy moments makes you enjoy the happy ones even more. *hugs* Sofia Stoner #4. Thanks, Sofia. That does make sense... I hope a happy moment comes soon... Thanks again for those words. <3 Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #5. They will come again, your smile and attitude will bring them to you. <3 Sofia Stoner #6. Words of wisdom. Thank you. :) Hey, well I get to hang out with you for the Big Bong! :D Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #7. Yes! You can see me on stage in a few hours. :) Sofia Stoner #8. Break a leg! (Not literally...haha) Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #9. I know the saying, thanks! :) Sofia Stoner Dedicated to my hubby: Een jaar… Words can’t express my love for you Through thick and thin, through and through. I’ll never regret those words – I do I’ll never forget first laying eyes on you. Een jaar… know just how to pick me up whenever I’m down You can make a smile take the place of any frown Een jaar… One love child and another on the way, And you’re still there for me when my emotions betray In the midst of mood swings and sleepless nights, You were always right there by my side Een jaar… one year… And many more to come… Happy Anniversary, honey. Ik hou van jou! Comments
#1. Happy Anniversary my love. I'm speechless.... All I can say is. I love you. Roy Barthel #2. Well, speechless is good. *smiles* I love you too... with all my heart. :) Rosa Rosewell-Barthel [After hours of thinking about this pregnancy - I started getting all sorts of worrisome thoughts. I don't know where they came from - but I decided to write a letter]: Dear Baby, I don't even know your gender. I don't even know your name. I haven't felt your first movements, your first hiccups... you haven't caused me any pain, just a little queasiness and frequent bathroom trips. Yet, I'm already thinking about your future. Where will you be born? It's hard to know, since mummy and daddy will be on tour. Will my travels affect you? The choices, I have made, are they right for you? Will your daddy be in the same city when you are born? It hurts to think about your daddy and I being in separate cities when you make your debut... yet I know your arrival will be a bright occasion? Can I handle taking care of your brother and you while I tour? Will I suffer with any postnatal depression and have to drop out? One thing I know for sure, your family loves you, sweetheart. Even though you're only the size of a pumpkin seed, we already love you. Pumpkin...hey, that's what I'll call you until you're born. We love you, Pumpkin. Comments
#1. Aww Don't worry I'll follow you all the way on tour just to help you out and if Roy can he will make it and I won't allow you to drop out, I promise. Alexia Carter #2. That's so nice of you. Don't feel obligated though. I should be alright. I think I'm just... I dunno... :/ Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #3. :( your making me sad.. Alexia Carter #4. Sorry... don't feel sad. :S Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #5. it's just sad to see you sad and know I am happy... Alexia Carter #6. But I had a good day. I was happy to see you finally happy... I don't know what happened... Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #7. I'm coming over there! Are you leaving anytime soon? Alexia Carter #8. I don't think so. Lexi, don't leave! Stay with your fiance. Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #9. He'll wait, I waited for him time for him to do the same i'm sure he'll understand! Alexia Carter #10. Don't leave him. I'll feel bad. :'( Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #11. Rosa, he'll be fine we were apart longer than this! Alexia Carter #12. :( Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #13. 4 hours 30 minutes til I'll be there you can't do anythgn fatal in those hours! Alexia Carter #14. That's really nice of you, Lexi... Rosa Rosewell-Barthel #15. :) Alexia Carter |
Rosa at a glanceNames: Rosa Rosewell, Rosa Rosewell-Barthel, Rosa Rosewell van Loon Archives
March 2011
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